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Oh The Things You Can Fill Dr. Seuss on Pharmacy: Author unknown Oh the things you can fill For the folks who are ill. With your bright shiny spatula Oh, what a thrill. Besmocked and bedecked out In Pharmacist clothes Knowing all of the things That a Pharmacist knows. You're quick and efficient, You're sharp and inventive. It also just happens You're anal retentive. You read slips of paper To get the specifics From doctors who scribble out Strange hieroglyphics. Could it be Celebrex? Or maybe Celexa It might be a Z-Pack Then it might be Zyprexa And you bill by computer AWP Minus 15 percent Plus a buck twenty-three. You fill and you bill And you feel so dejected 'Cause half of your claims Are being rejected. So you pick up the phone While computerized voices Keep you waiting forever Explaining the choices. Press 1 for directions. Or maybe it's 2. Push 'pound' for a message Oh, what should you do. Then you pour out the pills On your pill counting tray And you count, and you count And you count pills all day. You count them by fives To the rhythm and beat Of the songs that you learned On Sesame Street And the customers gripe And complain while you're fillin' Could it be the whole world Is on 'Grouchacillin?' My pills are too big And my co-pay's too high! Take it four times a day? I cannot comply! Then you scarf down your sandwich In one single bite Which if done in a restaurant Would be impolite But a Doc's on line one Mrs. Jones on line two She has 500 pills Will you cut them in two? And the drug reps, they tap On your counter, tap, tap. To give you their spiel Plus a load of free crap! There's pens and there's post-its There's free stuff galore But the really cool clock's For the doc who's next door Then ol' Mrs. Snifflemore Gives you that smile And you know once again That it's almost worthwhile So you hang up your smock And put down your free pen. Tomorrow you'll do it All over again. Oh the things you will fill For the folks who are ill. With your bright shiny spatula Oh, what a thrill! The End
Return to Laughter is the Best Medicine
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