PROFESSIONS AND THEIR CHILDREN
| PROFESSION: | NAME: | |
| Lawyer's daughter: | Sue | |
| Thief's son: | Rob | |
| Lawyer's son: | Will | |
| Doctor's son: | Bill | |
| Meteorologist's daughter: | Haley | |
| Steam shovel operator's son: | Doug | |
| Hair Stylist's son: | Bob | |
| Homeopathic doctor's son: | Herb | |
| Justice of the peace's daughter: | Mary |
 | Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance toourselves. |
| Afternoon: That part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning. |
| Air bags: Inflation we can live with. |
| Alarm clock: A device to wake people without small kids. |
| Allege: A high rock shelf |
| Answer: What everybody is still looking for. |
| Antelope: How she married my Uncle. |
| Antonym: The opposite of the word you're trying to think of. |
| Anxiety: Nature's way of getting you up mornings. |
| Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. |
| Arson: Our daughter's brother |
| Atheism: A non-prophet organization. |
| Author: A person who is usually write. |
| Autobiography: A history of cars. |
| Automobile: A mechanical device that runs up hills and down people. |
| Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do. |
| Avowal: a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y |
| Baby-sitter: A teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers. |
| Backward: Patient rooms at the rear of a hospital. |
| Baloney: Where some hemlines fall. |
| Bank: A place that will lend you money if you prove that you don't need it. |
| Bassinet: What every fisherman wants. |
| Beauty parlor: A place where some women go to dye. |
| Belong: To take your time. |
| Bernadette: The act of torching a mortgage. |
| Blotter: Something to look for while the ink dries. |
| Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money. |
KEEP SMILING:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are sorry it is taking a little extra time to pull away from the gate The machine that rips the handles off your luggage is broken so we have to do it manually."
TRIVIA: SURVIVING A HEART ATTACK ALONE
Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, this
article forwarded by a friend is worth sharing.
Without help the person whose heart stops beating properly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating
normally again. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a phone and, between breaths, call for help.
From "Health Cares," Rochester General Hospital via Chapter 240's newsletter AND THE BEAT GOES ON ... (reprint from The Mended Hearts, Inc. publication, Heart Response)
Elixir . . . what a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone
Enema . . . not a friend
Fester . . . quicker
Fibula . . . a small lie
Genes . . . blue denim slacks
G.I. Series . . . A military ball game
Hangnail . . . coat hook
Inbred . . . the best way to eat peanut butter
Inpatient . . . tired of waiting
Intubate . . . what a fisherman is
Labor Pain . . . hurt at work
Medical Staff . . . a doctors cane
Migraine . . . what a Russian farmer now says about his harvest
Minor Operation . . . coal digging
Morbid . . . a higher bid
Nitrate . . . cheaper then the day rate.
Node . . . was aware of
